Dave Masterson's thoughts on technology happenings, personal experiences, travels, work, fun, etc.

Entries in death of loved one (1)



Most of us do not get the opportunity to fly right above our hometown and look down at our house, our car and our neighborhood from above. (Unless you're a pilot or a base jumper!) Such is also true about having a rare few days or weeks of mental clarity that allows you to "see" the things in your life that are important. To see the size and position of your assets and holdings and what surrounds you at any given point in your life. These times of clarity can come as a result of a significant change in one's situation - a celebratory or tragic event that is way larger than your normal sensory input. Graduate from college and you now see the world before you with different eyes - because so much is within reach. Travel far away and do things you're not accustomed to, and your next few days back home seem unique. For me, the most recent occurance is the loss of my sister to cancer. A prolonged battle ending in a peaceful night's sleep passing away, I am in the middle of a sharpened and more focused period of vision and awareness.

Bills and financial concerns take a back seat, those are solvable. Disagreements with individuals? Grudges melt in these times. I have time and a set of thoughts that can push me into a special place where I am free of daily distractions and able to have the naive view of the future similar to that of a youngster. It's a place where optimism is high, where your possibilities form a long list, and where hurdles are low and insignificant. Fear of trying new things erodes as the upside of experiencing something off-beat outweighs the risk. I reflect to something I've heard and read, "What would you try if you knew you couldn't fail?" You shouldn't have to lose a loved family member to surround yourself with this acute set of feelings, but maybe that's their legacy or parting gift to you. I am fortunate to have had a very positive and loving relationship with my sister at all times, I truly enjoyed her guidance, sense of enjoyment and support. I often tell others that this milestone represents to me the loss of my best "biased" supporter. Whatever I have been involved with, triumph or hard times, she has been that person who would tell me, "Oh, you'll do great at this, you're going to enjoy that or I'll see you coming through this magnificently!" You don't get many of these people in your life, and none of us can readily afford to lose them. In this time of sadness and reflection, good can come in the form of the clarity I can see things with as I grow forward. I have to make something of this "gift," it's too valuable to let it pass by unused.

Appreciate those in your life that support you. Have empathy towards those that appear as if they chide you, their path may be bumpier than yours. Look for the precious times where your awareness is peaking and you can see things unlike other days. Some great things are in these moments if you can pull them out and apply them in your day-to-day. For some, it's the beach, it's a walk in the woods, a religious service or sermon, yoga, or time spent alone reading. Recognize what gives you that 20/10 vision and be ready to learn from it. Most people won't have many exposures to this much clarity, they are highly valuable to those of us that are prepared to accept them.